Some years ago I read a post on a social networking site, from an Independent Early Years Consultant and Tutor, Chelmsford, in the UK.
“I have been teaching a regular class of pre-school practitioners today who are nearing the end of their L3 Diploma. In a classroom debate, a student raised the subject of cuddling children. This subject was quite controversial a few years ago. It seems to have reared its ugly head once again.
There is a fine line between acceptable and not acceptable practice with young children. I hear messages that settings ask staff not to touch the children to protect themselves against safeguarding accusations.
Have I missed something here?
Surely the concept behind our Key Person approach, attachment theory and the emotional well-being of the child are fundamental. I would like to hear from you (practitioners in particular) who can offer some enlightenment on this supposed U-turn.” – Janet Uwins
This is such an important topic. It’s almost 3 years since I read this comment. This week I read this question in an article in Nursery Management Today:
“Has anyone seen the article about the no-touch policy in nurseries, featured in the latest day nurseries.co.uk newsletter? The two directors of the recently opened Spanish Nursery say they have come across it – and it is spreading. Have you? Do you practise it? What are the consequences in your view? – Sue Churchill
My view is that it is quite obvious we don’t want children to be harmed, or a member of staff to be falsely accused of abuse.
And I totally DISAGREE with any proposals about no cuddling – touching. This is madness!
We all need cuddling/hugging no matter what age we are. Human touch is fundamental for our wellbeing.
We need the touch of a smile, verbal affection and eye contact too with the people we can trust. Affective interaction is necessary for the healthy, cognitive, social and emotional development of every human being.
Affective touch is as necessary as food
Harlow’s famous experiments with monkeys in the 1960s showed the need for comfort and warmth. Studies with infants in orphanages and hospitals show the incredible detrimental consequences of babies without contact of a significant other. Infants who not touched fail to thrive: deprived of skin contact they lose weight, become ill and even die.
The benefits of physical affection are life serving
Premature babies receiving “touch therapy” gain weight faster; cry less and show more signs of a relaxed pulse respiration rate and muscle tension. I’m sure there must be research on this topic concerning care for the elderly too.
Cuddling/hugging lowers stress
This natural warm physical response to another human being causes a biochemical release of the hormone, oxytocin. When this hormone enters the bloodstream we feel good: it lowers the levels of stress; reduces blood pressure, improves mood, increases tolerance for pain and may even help the body to heal more quickly.
Early memories imprint the body
Touch permeates through the dermis (skin) and activates tiny receptors which are distributed throughout the entire body. The way we are touched, held and caressed as young children creates a template from which subsequent relationships are formed.
It’s crucial to recognise the essential value of reassuring and caring touch, hugging, cuddling and expressions of affection…relationships and attachment.
Reassuring touch provides us with a sense of safety and security and supports the development of trust when we feel contained in the arms of another.
When we feel safe and securely attached, we develop the confidence to explore our surroundings independently with a sense of adventure and self- assuredness knowing that we can return to that place of safety when we need it.
Below are a few comments from those working in early years settings.
Elaine Hook, Manager Sole Charge at Monkey Puzzle Day Nurseries, Hemel Hempstead said:
“We cuddle children openly in a room with other members of staff keeping our hand visible and usually rely on the child’s lead.
And never do anything alone or behind closed doors, especially with older children. We also ensure that we write an incident procedure form over absolutely anything and have it witnessed by a staff member and signed off by the deputy or manager. We also ask the parents to sign the form and give them a copy.
It is more detrimental to the development and well being of a small child (as we all know) not to cuddle or comfort a child. I believe all practitioners especially managers/owners should be confident (and know their own policies well) to challenge ideas like these in the best interest of the child and their learning and development.
Wellbeing
We all want children to grow up as social well-adjusted individuals. If children are not stroked, cuddled or loved they will suffer mentally and emotionally in later in life”
Catherine, Proprietor and Centre Manager at Springlands Training and Assessment Centre, Principal and Proprietor at Springlands Early Years and Child Care, Principal and Owner at St Mary’s Kindergarten and The Cherries Nursery said:
“Why do we put children in the position where they have to ASK for comfort (i.e. take the child’s lead as they become upset/ask) surely, as sensitive adults we should anticipate when a child may become frightened or upset and step in with a ‘hands-on’ approach (as appropriate) before they get upset?
The more ‘TLC’ children receive the more secure, healthy and capable they become.
How many fewer under fives currently is anticipated to have mental health problems when they are adults. There is a statistic!
I would expect key-people to know their key children very well – otherwise where’s the relationship.
What’s the point?
Emotional security is more important than anything else.
In my opinion, the best practitioners will ‘naturally’ respond and personally to the children’s needs.
Adults are unlikely to have any REAL memories of our lives before six (maybe just those told to us) – I am sure you agree. What we do remember of our childhoods has influenced us somehow in adulthood – but as we remember consciously we can rationalise it and maybe repair the hurt. I worry about what is not remembered and this is why ‘early years’ is such a huge responsibility!
I personally think no cuddling is neglect – maybe my subconscious is influencing my judgment, particularly when I look at my first school photo!
The nursery systems, environment, staffing ratio’s, policies together with the professionalism and trust of individuals within teams should be in place to support individual staff giving to children; to meet all their needs – this obviously requires ‘constant review’ and ‘risk assessment’ to possible accusations/worries/claims.
My Grandaughter gave teacher a cuddle & said she loved him.
The school have told her parents,it’s a safeguarding issue.I don,t get it.We encourage kids to be kind & when they are are accessed of doing wrong.I would love to understand this as my granddaughter is a very loving child & I love her.
Dear Val, I agree that young children are naturally open, playful, loving and affectionate. It sounds like you don’t have concerns and may want to understand more about why the school are saying this.
But I do have concerns.It has been made an issue of & caused worry to her parents,who now feel they have to watch her every move.
And how do you explain this to a child when they realise they are being treated differently & with caution.
Surely that is not good for her mental health or her parents..Where does this end?
ive been asked not to cuddle a child who runs to me after her school has finished i work in an after school club and this child runs to me jumps on my knee gives me a cuddle then goes and plays with thier friends this child was also told not to give me a cuddle am i doing something wrong or is this child doing something wrong i really think this is all wrong who knows if this child gets any cuddles at home and this is the only comfort they get and i see this child monday to friday
Dear Karen, this does sound confusing, I get that you care for this child and want to know why you have been asked not to cuddle! Have you asked why – is this person concerned about something ?
no concerns they said its not allowed any more for a child or staff to give a child a cuddle and yes its very confusing my manager said shes going to look further into this as i dont think its right if any child wants a wee cuddle what harm can it do this child is only 6