Nelson Mandela showed that it is possible to make a difference in our world.
I’ve had two encounters recently that caused me to reflect on the history of apartheid in South Africa.
The first was that I felt moved by the content in some letters I found in my father’s memorabilia. He was a Jazz musician, who died in 1970. His name was Tony Russell, he performed at many Jazz events including the Johannesburg Jazz festival during Apartheid. He wrote to my mother regularly about his experiences and shared his stories about how they (the white) musicians played together in the townships, in secret, late at night. I found this inspiring and incredibly sad. In a small envelope carefully kept, there was a handwritten thank you note from a black man who heard them play.
The second occurred with my client. During her session working with NVC to explore her anger, I sensed the depth of her pain when she shouted: “I feel outraged, remembering being told that I was not allowed to play with my best friend. We belonged together!”
My client is a white woman born in South Africa, her friend was black. The tears rolled down her cheeks and she sobbed as this memory returned in present time. NVC supported her to heal.
What happens to cause human beings and a whole system, to treat one group of people as if they are less than another?
Can you imagine how it might feel to be in the less than group, to fear for your loved one’s safety and not be able to protect them?
Apartheid was a system of institutionalised racial segregation and discrimination that existed in South Africa between 1948 and 1994. Nelson Mandala opposed this with a strong determination to fight for unity. It was a fight that led to his many incarcerations and lifetime prison sentence.
“The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” – Nelson Mandela
The loss of Mandela’s liberty didn’t stop him working. He continued his commitment to the cause through his 20-year sentence, from his prison cell on Robben Island.
Reconciliation versus revenge
After decades of apartheid, it’s easy to imagine that Mandela wanted revenge, but this was not his intention.
His mission was for peaceful reconciliation between the different ethnic groups.
Mandala was an inspirational, visionary leader with democratic values. Ultimately, his fight was for spiritual freedom for us all.
He was released from prison in 1990, awarded a Noble Peace Prize in 1993 and in 1994 was elected president. The country celebrated the emotional victory of the end of apartheid.
My hope is for an uprising of peace ambassadors who walk in his shoes, standing for equality, equity around meeting people’s needs, for justice and unity.
He died at the age of 95 on 5 December 2013 in Johannesburg. He stood for love, peace and reconciliation.

“Nonone is born hating another person because of the colour of his skin or his background, or religion Nelson Mandela
Mandela showed us that great change can be achieved through education and true dedication to a cause. His name stands alongside other freedom fighters, including Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr. He will never be forgotten.
His life communicates a journey to freedom that starts with love.
When we find it difficult to understand another’s plight – the key seems to be finding reconciliation within ourselves – this can open the door of peace between us.
An attitude of reconciliation is rare.
It’s quite obvious that our inborn nature is towards trusting each other, like Mandela says “we are not born hating each other” we want to connect, you only have to look into the eyes of a baby to see this is true, unfortunately, some experiences, can interfere with our nature!
Stress and trauma have an impact, so does a culture of competition which interferes with how we relate together; power over can lead to dominance and separation.
Enemy images are born early.
Mandela and many like him suffered horrific circumstances. He faced this and showed us how to forgive.
“If you want to make peace with your enemy, you have to work with your enemy, so he becomes your partner.” – Nelson Mandela
He was a courageous man who made a difference in the world. His work for humanity, restoration and peace can continue through us.
Our children carry messages into the future!
How can we support families, schools and communities to forge peaceful alliances that flourish?
Are our children comfortable with themselves and others?
- How do they perceive and manage conflicts, express what they like and don’t like?
- How do they celebrate difference and show appreciation for each other?
- Do they know they have a choice about what they value and how to be?
- Are they free to share their stories?
- Are they curious?
- Do they know their views, feelings and needs matter?
- Do they know the difference are they make in each other’s lives?
- How often do they dance and sing and create together?
If our children are educated to understand and care for each other, maybe a culture of unity can evolve.
I hope I see peace in this world in my lifetime – do you?
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