NVC in early years and organisational practice
After more than three decades of working with young children — and those who care for them — I am still deeply moved by the transformative power of presence, play, and connection. Over the years, I’ve come to believe even more strongly that children are not only the future of our world; they are some of our wisest teachers. They invite us into the deepest kind of growth — the kind that begins with listening, slowing down, and choosing empathy, again and again.
My journey with Nonviolent Communication (NVC) began as a personal exploration, but it quickly became the heart of my professional practice. What started as a way to connect more deeply with children has grown into a powerful foundation for how I support individuals, teams, and organisations — particularly in early years education — to reflect, relate, and lead with care.
My work is also shaped by a deep-rooted background in early years pedagogy. Early in my career, I spent many years as an endorsed High/Scope trainer — immersing myself in play-based, child-led approaches to learning — and went on to study Early Years Education at Masters level. Alongside this, I taught early years practitioners in further education, equipping the next generation of educators with both practical skills and a heart-centred philosophy. These experiences gave me a strong grounding in the realities of practice and the vision to imagine what more is possible when empathy becomes central.
Children first: a place of play, love, and learning
When we meet children with empathy, curiosity, and respect, we create conditions for learning that go far beyond academics. In these early years, what matters most is not what children know, but how safe and loved they feel, how free they are to explore, and how well they are supported emotionally.
It is a profound privilege to support environments where this is possible — where learning is playful, easeful, and rooted in joy. Time and again, I have witnessed how children flourish when they are surrounded by adults who understand the power of attuned, empathic presence. These environments aren’t just good for children — they’re good for all of us.
Cross-cultural roots: from Sweden to London
Much of my work has unfolded in rich, cross-cultural settings. Early in my career, I led early years settings for over 25 years and later worked as a consultant for London boroughs and numerous preschools. I have also had the joy of collaborating with colleagues who bring Nonviolent Communication (the work of Dr Marshall Rosenberg) to schools in Sweden, where the early years ethos is deeply grounded in emotional awareness, trust in the child, and a commitment to democratic values. These partnerships deepened my appreciation for what becomes possible when empathy sits at the heart of education.
Similarly, my work with the bilingual early years group Les Petites Etoiles in London has shown me how diverse, multilingual communities can cultivate empathy as a shared language. These settings — united by their vision to nurture the whole child — have embraced NVC not just as a communication tool, but as a way of shaping culture.
NVC: a language of connection
When we weave NVC into early years practice, we offer children something profound: a language for understanding themselves and others. Whether it’s helping toddlers navigate sharing, or supporting older children through big emotional moments, NVC provides a gentle yet clear framework for naming feelings, recognising needs, and finding collaborative solutions.
This work isn’t about perfect language or getting it “right” — it’s about modelling empathy, moment by moment. It’s about slowing down enough to see what’s alive in a child and trusting that even the most challenging behaviour carries a message of human needs longing to be met.
Reflective practice and empathic leadership
One of the most rewarding aspects of this work is supporting early years teams — and those in leadership — to deepen their reflective practice. NVC doesn’t just help us support children’s emotional development; it invites adults into their own growth journeys as well.
In the teams I’ve worked with, particularly those committed to regular reflection and ongoing learning, I’ve seen how NVC fosters a culture of openness, honesty, and care. Staff meetings become places of real connection. Supervision becomes a space where awareness expands and courageous, vulnerability and curiosity is welcomed. When leaders embody empathy in their communication and decision-making, become anchors of trust and resilience for their teams.
At a training day last year with Les Petites Etoiles (images above), Katarina an NVC Certified Trainer from Sweden and I introduced a reflective practice tool called the “Give It a Minute” game — a simple yet powerful activity to help staff clarify the needs of children, parents, and themselves, and influence planning that meets universal needs.
Empathic leadership is not a soft skill — it is a transformative force for positive change. Leaders who listen, reflect, and relate with presence create spaces where both staff and children feel valued, heard, and inspired to grow.
A vision for the future
In a world that often moves too fast, where performance is prized over presence, I believe early years education holds profound possibilities. It offers a space where we can return to what really matters — where we can model the kind of world we want our children to inherit: one rooted in empathy, mutual care, and joyful connection.
The work we do with young children matters — deeply. And it asks something of us too: that we pause, reflect, and choose love, again and again.
May we continue to listen. May we continue to lead with empathy. And may we continue to let our children show us the way.
Read more about NVC here
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