Are leaders born or made?
What images or thoughts come to mind when you hear the term leadership? Firstly, I imagine that you are thinking about people in positions of power. Notably, ‘leaders’ of political parties, countries, organisations or big projects.
Throughout this blog though, I invite you to consider leadership in a wider context, keeping in mind how you lead in your personal life, family, friendship groups and communities.
Is leadership for everyone?
Do you believe that anyone can become a leader? Or maybe you think leadership is only for those who are born with a certain temperament or characteristics?
When I was at secondary school there were all sorts of children. The confident outspoken ‘head girls and boys’ that led the student magazine, netball teams and student unions.
There were those who were loud – truanting, smoking and talking about drugs and sex and those who were quieter less obvious and noticeable. All attracting like-minded people to their groups!
Most people would see the head girls and boys as those who would go on to become leaders – I know this isn’t true – do you?
Do you recognise yourself above?
Where are you leading in life?
“We are dangerous when we are not conscious of our responsibility for how we behave, think, and feel.” ― Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life
What is conscious leadership?
Maybe you have taken a leadership position in your workplace or recognise the key role you have in your family. You have a passion, vision or strong conviction toward something that ignites a spark in others and you begin to collaborate.
Leading a home, a project, ideas, opinions, influencing others. This is all leadership.
Conscious leadership is a choice. We choose how we want to direct our lives. This requires vulnerability and authentic presence. It’s about giving mindful attention towards yourself and others. It’s about integrity and purpose.
Power and privilege
The conscious leader sees the privilege carried by their position. They understand that no position or chattels make anyone more or less worthy of the care and resources needed for their wellbeing.
They see through the filters that separate us and respect the leader within each person.
When safety, trust and respect exist between people, ideas, fears and celebrations can be expressed freely. This means people can become more present and honest in their communication and appreciate each person’s creative differences and skills. Our universal needs can take centre stage and be met.
The Greek philosopher Socrates, said: “An unexamined life is not worth living”
Self knowledge is the beginning of all wisdom.
Give mindful attention to:
- Self- awareness – understanding the impact of your own personal history
- Social awareness – recognising the filters you have when perceiving others -about the role of men, women, race, colour, sexual orientation, economic, educational and social status
- Principles – holding the clarity of your intention, knowing what drives you to speak out and lead.
- Understanding others – listening to others and understand what is important to them, even if you don’t agree.
- Communication – expressing yourself honestly.
- Working together –facing conflict, addressing inequalities and equity.
Over the years, I’ve discovered many tools and skills that are helpful for leadership.
Here are a few more things for you to consider:
- Be clear about the way your own patterns of attachment and any trauma impact the way you lead.
- Understand the beliefs, needs and values that drive you
- Recognise your default response to conflict and the way you use the power you have available to you.
- Embrace embodiment, this means being present with the language of your body, heart and mind with an awareness of instinct and compassion.
- Develop nonviolent communication.
- Be prosocial with your interpersonal and systemic actions.
Would you like to join me on a public training, to review what influences your leadership?
You can sign up for the e-course here, or book a one to one session with me, I’d love to work with you.
Which qualities and skills do you want to cultivate in leadership NOW?
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