How to build trust in the workplace with NVC

Have you ever had a boss that you just don’t trust? The top employers know that trust in the workplace is essential for wellbeing and productivity. However, it is a sad fact that many people don’t trust their boss or their colleagues and they are working in a “toxic” environment.

Recently someone I know had a new CEO at the charity they work in. She wanted to speak to everyone personally to introduce herself and she shared with them that she had an open-door policy. She said there would be changes but she wanted everyone to be involved, heard and seen. Great!

After a few months, it became apparent that her words didn’t quite line up with her actions:

She said the charity were committed to increasing positive mental health, the staff felt their mental health was being adversely affected, by the changes and the way they were being managed.

She communicated changes to peoples roles without consulting them. She cut overtime hours when the team had consistently told her they didn’t have sufficient hours to complete the job.

When people expressed their concerns about the changes she said “her hands were tied”

Basically, she used words like trust, an open door policy, listening and collaborating without backing those words up with the matching actions. Within months the culture of the workplace had changed to become one of mistrust with a “them v/s us” feeling which is not good for productivity, achieving goals, or well being.

You can trust me….Trust is a verb

I don’t know about you but when people tell me I can trust them I feel uncomfortable. It’s an interesting thing. Just because they feel and think they are trustworthy doesn’t really make it so for others.

Richard Fagerlin founder and president of Peak Solutions says:

“Trust is the responsibility of the person who wants high trust. If you want others to trust you – it’s your responsibility. If you are committed to giving and building trust and determined to overcome any obstacles that stand in your way, you will win high trust. If you work patiently and with perseverance to lead your team towards a high-trust, high-performance culture, you can see it happen”.

It isn’t enough to simply tell people you are trustworthy. If we haven’t stopped to found out what trust means to our staff and co-workers, then we have no idea whether our actions will be perceived as trustworthy or otherwise.

How do we build trust in the workplace?

By being authentic in our words actions and deeds.
Opening up when we find things difficult.
Creating an environment where others feel safe to share what they truly think about situations and feel confident to share their ideas.
Creating an environment where others know their views are important, wanted and valued.
Keeping commitments.
Listening with interest and respect.

“The courage to be vulnerable is not about winning or losing, it’s about the courage to show up when you can’t predict or control the outcome.” ― Brené Brown

How can NVC support you to build trust between colleagues in the workplace?

Here are some attitudes and skills we can adopt.

Wanting the best for each other-meaning, we want each other to shine.
Shifting our thinking from whose better, who wins and who loses and who is to blame for mistakes TO what happened or is happening; how do we feel about this and what’s important to us and our customers regarding this?
Nonviolent Communication means we learn to listen. Not so we can give advice, tell others what we think and what to do (we may share our experience and ideas later). First, we listen to understand each other.
We express appreciation and gratitude. We specifically say what it was that someone did or said that contributed to us feeling good and/or learning and developing.
We find solutions to problems together. WE agree actions to meet the needs and values of us all.
Express with curiosity and honesty with an intention to increase wellbeing, not to cause harm.
Face conflicts with care and take ownership of our feelings when they arise. We live from the understanding that our feelings arise out of our needs and values.

Empathic Leadership is not always easy. It takes a great deal of self-reflection, and the courage to do the right thing. And to be honest we don’t have very many public examples of “empathic leaders” right now. Instead, we hear messages of hatred and violence; profit and power most of the time on our TVs which is very distressing.

Why be an empathic leader?

So why is it important to be a leader with high EQ (emotional intelligence), an honourable moral compass, advanced communication skills, empathy and an ability to be focused on results? Why not simply lead by fear-getting what you want by coercion and the misuse of power?

The answer is really simple. Because, it’s the right thing to do – care, respect, equality and integrity in our relationships matter. We are constantly evolving, growing and changing. Self-improvement is where we are all heading, so why not get ahead of the game?

Fear-led “power over” leadership may work (for a short while)

Fear-led power over leadership may work and get results, for a short while. People generally don’t stay around too long (well the forward progressive thinkers don’t in any case).

Fear-led leaders dis-empower people, squash creativity and reduce productivity.

Empathic leaders, empower others, invite creative thinking about projects and the challenges the organisation may need to face. They get the job done effectively and efficiently, whilst at the same time caring for others.

For over the past 25 years I have worked with thousands of people in leadership, helping them develop the mindsets, skills, and competencies to step forward in their roles with authenticity, empathy, curiosity, and confidence. I can help you do this too ⬇︎

Check out my event schedule to see where you can sign up or book a free call with me to see how I can support you and your workplace.

If you have had an experience of working in an environment with little trust and a lack of empathically authentic leadership then I’d love to hear your story in the comments below or feel free to email me if the issue feels more sensitive.