It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas. The tree is decorated, the turkey has been ordered and my home is ready to receive guests.
The children have completed their concerts and nativity plays. The school term has ended and there’s a sense of anticipation and feeling of excitement in our house.
Consumerism
I totally love Christmas! What I don’t like is the constant purchase of things we don’t truly need. More things that get used up and thrown away; often disposed of in ways that affect the planet. Things to wear to eat, to have!
We have been sold the illusion that these things are what will make us feel happy, fulfilled and beautiful, which of course is rubbish.
Don’t imagine for one minute that I don’t like having nice things, I really do. I know that having a washing machine makes my life so much easier and it is such a pleasure to watch a film on my TV and definitely, there are certain clothes and beauty products that I enjoy too … But honestly…
How much stuff do we actually need?
In the past, in my family, we used to spend loads of money on buying “stuff” for each other, we sometimes even borrowed money to be able to afford what people wanted. There were piles of presents under our tree. Over the past few years, we have changed.
So will I be buying any gifts? Yes, but not as many as I used to, instead I will buy a few and will make some homemade chocolates too, and focus on being fully present with my family instead of being so concerned about buying so many presents.
When we give our full listening presence to each other and especially to our children it’s a total gift. I find that Christmas offers this more easily because it is a holiday time. In my family, we eat together, open presents, play games together watch films, go for walks and relax. I am thankful for the quality of this precious gift of time.
Giving and receiving is a ritual that feels really good. We enjoy the pleasure of our needs being met by the actions and “things” that give us joy.
What’s important to you about Christmas?
When I asked my granddaughter this question she told me it was spending time with her family.
Family time is not a gift that everyone enjoys!
Last week one person told me that his intention was to spend as little time as possible with his parents during Christmas, he said he would take care of the cooking to keep himself away from them, he hoped that his days would pass quickly.
When I asked him why it was so difficult for him to spend time with his family he said “well what do you expect from parents who are divorced and both have new partners now”
We human beings are complex; when we have inner turmoil and conflict about situations, our emotions cause us all sorts of problems. Finding ways to live in harmony with each other requires acceptance and compassion.
I find it useful to remember that we can’t change anyone, only our selves, and in changing ourselves things around us change. This is the miracle. I totally know this is true because I’ve practised it many times.
Feeling alone at Christmas
Maybe your reading this and you don’t have a family, maybe you have lost someone you love and the grief seems impossible to bare. If so, I hope you find the connection that you need, this can be a lonely journey, one that is easier to complete with support. Mourning is a process that takes time and courage.
Leo Tolstoy says: “Only people who are capable of loving strongly can also suffer great sorrow, but this same necessity of loving serves to counteract their grief and heals them.”
Hi Tracey, im glad tp have read this. Thank you. Lots of love to u and your family xx Elena
I’m moved after having read such a substantial text on love that is all we need; united family as the central expression of love in these days of joy and hope… xxx Michael