What is trauma?
According to Integrated listening Systems ‘trauma is the response to a deeply distressing or disturbing event. The event overwhelms an individual’s ability to cope, causes feelings of helplessness, diminishing their sense of self and ability to feel the full range of emotions and experiences.
What causes trauma and how does it come into being?
My understanding is that trauma occurs when excessive stimulation overwhelms our nervous system. It is when we are unprepared and unable to process the emotional and physiological aspects of the situation at the time. The experience of trauma is subjective, focusing on the receiver’s perception and the impact of the events rather than the events themselves.
People experience events in unique ways
Two people going through the same experience may not have the same reaction to what happened. One of them could experience the event as traumatic whilst the other does not. It is our response to an experience that makes it traumatic.
A client told me when she was around 10 years old, she was playing in the park when an elderly man exposed his penis. She was in complete shock, she couldn’t speak, her body began to shake; unlike her friend, who laughed out loud and shouted at him telling him how ridiculous he was. She really did experience it as funny, my client, experienced it as frightening!
Reflections on traumatic experiences
I have been reflecting my own trauma experiences and quite a few occurred during my mid-childhood, teenage years and early adulthood. It is these and other experiences they make me who I am in life. Along with an incredible maturation!
Working with our trauma
Piecing together fragmented traumatic memories requires extensive effort. Practices like meditation, psychotherapy, and body-based techniques that release blocked energy contribute to this reconstruction process. However, it’s crucial to note that these efforts don’t negate the existence of past experiences or their influence on our current state. Traumatic responses, while rooted in the past, serve as heightened awareness indicators for safety, boundaries, care, and respect.
The body’s innate wisdom and ancient intelligence may not always discern that the past events are over. Despite efforts to heal, triggered experiences in the present can swiftly activate the body’s stress response, leading to reactions like fight, flight, freeze, or complete immobilization. To facilitate genuine healing, it’s supportive to for self-help endeavours to be approached with empathy and compassion.
Trauma in the body can trigger an extreme stress response in the present experience.
Imagine a child who has suffered from an experience where they felt terror at the hands of a violent act, and they were not able to fight. In any moment, years later, that child may feel threatened unexpectedly, by something that appears to have no connection with the earlier experience. Maybe panic is triggered, when the teacher asks this child to stop speaking to their friend in a lesson and he runs out of the classroom.
Imagine a young person who had experience in their life when once, they were not able to speak. Maybe someone put a hand over their mouth to stop them, or they were so frightened by a threat, that they couldn’t say what they wanted and were never able to make sense of this experience.
Years later the same child, now an adult, is asked to speak about a topic, unexpectedly in public. They have extensive experience on the topic in question and in this particular moment, they cannot find their words. Their stress levels rise causing the heart to beat fast, as well as feelings of nausea.
Things are not always what they seem
Do we all have trauma somewhere inside? I invite you to be mindful and see beyond behaviours that can seem unexpected and confusing at times. Instead, we can be curious and create environments for people to shine beyond past experiences that may hinder them showing their gifts in the world.
Is your treasure buried?
When we have insight into our own traumas, we can mourn for the things we didn’t have, yet felt we needed, to feel safe in that moment in our lives. We can frame the experiences in other ways and can create new beginnings and endings.
We understand more about ourselves and each other; knowing that each moment is coloured by the past.
There are many practices that can support us to find strength, together with the unique vulnerabilities we have which show the fullness of what it means to be human. Beyond perfection.
Do you have some to share?
One of my favourite readings about accepting our wounds is! The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams
“What is REAL?” asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near
the nursery fender, before Nanna came to tidy the room.
“Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?”
“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse.
“It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time,
not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.”
“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.
“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful.
“When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”
“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?”
“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse.
“You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people
who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept.
Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off,
and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby.
But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real
you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”
We all have wounds
No one can live their life without experiencing trauma and some happenings impact our lives in more extreme ways than others! Not better or worse, but deeper wounds that are more difficult to heal.
Parents, leaders, lovers, poets, healers, teachers, therapists, trainers, coaches, etc we all have them. It is important to work with these experiences and give others permission, strength and a reference to do the same.
Trauma impacts individuals and whole families too – a community, a culture, and a nation.
This summer, I led a personal development retreat in Mt Pelion, Greece. We spoke about the importance of being present to our wounds and we danced Chiron the famous Centaur, the wounded healer. In Greek mythology, they say that Mt Pelion was Chiron’s home.
It is a privilege to work with modalities and partners who are willing to expose their wounds, their vulnerabilities and to show their humanness without fear of retribution and regret. To stand in their own shoes with the wholeness of who they are and sometimes on behalf of their nations too.
When we are aware of our wounds, we are aware that current experiences can unexpectedly trigger a hidden belief or a strong emotional reaction that is fuelled by the past. It is essential to acknowledge this. It is how we become responsible for the present situations we face and connect with our experience from a place of choice and love versus conditioned (often unconscious) responses.
Integration of body, heart, and mind
The integration of BODY, HEART, and MIND is essential for us all and why many coaches and trainers are including the moving body in what they offer. I primarily work with Nonviolent Communication, mindful breath awareness, centering exercises and biocentric postures, NLP and Biodanza Movement.
If you’d like to talk
If you’d like to discuss anything with me that I have written about in the blog, feel free to email on tracy@tracyseed.com
I am not a psychotherapist, I am a holistic coach, trainer, and educationalist, working with various modalities to support individuals, families, and organizations communicate in ways that improve wellbeing. Trauma is everywhere which means that it frequently, shows up in my work with people.
If you want to understand more about trauma, you may like to listen to this podcast
You may like to explore these Trauma therapies for support with complex trauma and PTSD
Peter Levine’s Self Holding exercise
Thanks for the insights. This article is very helpful.
I appreciate your comment thankyou:)